Dear People, Screw YouThat new guy at work.
The big one. The rolly one. The one that looks like he should be crawling up a building to try and get the Ghostbusters. Now listen here, Michelin Man, you do not call me "the camera dude," okay? You do not call me "the net man." You do not even call me "YOU!?" like Tony does. You do not call me cameraboy, photoman, internetkid, darkroomguy, negativebloke, aperturedude, studiodork, resolutionfreak or even George-Freaking-Eastmann of Kodak! You call me what the boss calls me. You call me what everybody at work calls me. You call me "The Photographer." Saavy?
Tom Cruise.
How I'd love to punch him right in the jaw, and more than just for the hell of it: But to ruin those perfect teeth. They say Americans have the best teeth due to dental technology. American representatives are loud, obnoxious, wear stupid hats, make bad covers of good original songs and have a tendancy to declare war with every second nation... But they have nice teeth. Mission Impossible 4, starring Colgate 2-in-1, now with whitening.
Clark Kent of Smallville.
As much as I love your show, I hate your choice of relationships. Lana? No. She's one of those beautiful girls that are so beautiful they're quite sickening. And Lois? No even more! She sucked in the show and she sucked played by Teri Hatcher too. And now she's a desperate housewife and you're nowhere to be seen. I know you're an alien, but isn't it obvious? Chloe was the hot one, man. She was cute, had stylish hair, had a nice smile and she was intelligent! *Sigh.* Alien teenagers and their space hormones.
Bela Lugosi.
I love you, but look what happened to Plan 9 from Outer Space! How could you die and let Tom Mason take your place? He had different coloured hair, for Thor's sake, and they didn't even bother dying it! Still, dying while filming a movie where you were an Undead character. Touch of irony. Classy 'til the end. Long live (or, evidently not) Bela Lugosi... And Vincent Price.
Heihachi Mishima.
Dude, can't you control a single one of your tournaments? You're all "Wah, my son is a devil. I must kill him." Then "Gasp! My grandson is also a devil. I must harness his power." Then "Zomgzor, even my father is a devil! He's been half-dead under my dojo for 40 years and now he's hosting my tournament!" Father: A devil. Son: A devil. Grandson: A devil. Are you sure you're not a Christian, Heihachi? Feel left out of the gene pool? Sort out your family issues, dude... And what is with that hair?!
Whoever wrote the radio version advert for McDonalds' new BLT
They rhyme 'bacon' with 'bacon' six times in nine lines. I think they may have rhymed it with 'makin'' once, and then with 'tasty lunchtime treat' ... which doesn't rhyme and leaves the whole tune in a sour note. There are plenty of words that rhyme with 'bacon.' Like 'Sagem' or 'Fagin' or 'scrumriffication' if you're Dr Seuss. Put them all together and that would be a Happy Meal.
And mostly, The President of the United States of America.
No, President Bush. Just no.
Devious Comments
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I don't want a baby who looks like that
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Automatic crystal remote control...
We come to move your soul.
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Please don't confuse Americans with the US government. We hide our mentally challenged citizens in the government. They are difficult to control and never listen. I've been saying no to George ever since his daddy was fucking us up.
We have nifty little sticks with little brushes on the end and cool bits of string to help us with our teeth. And we put teeth whitening chemicals in the domestic water supply. That way even our homeless and our pets can have white teeth. I actually bought my teeth from "unbornfetusteeth.com" ^_^
I better stop now before I go any lower.
Oh, gosh.
That pulls up all kinds of eroticism! ^_^
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[T] - [TOBIAS//STORMHAWK]
Viking Much?
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[T] - [TOBIAS//STORMHAWK]
Viking Much?
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[T] - [TOBIAS//STORMHAWK]
Viking Much?
(I hope I remember by the time I've finished writing this.)
Lol. Nifty brushes and cool string. ^_^
Mine isn't so nifty. It's boring and blue and says 'Colgate' on it.
I used to use 'Macleans,' but then they started using Big Brother contestants for advertising.
Major suckage.
And whitener in the water supply, you say?
Wow, I think we've only just started getting oxygen in ours.
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[T] - [TOBIAS//STORMHAWK]
Viking Much?
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